A Man of Many Parts

iPhones are powerful, portable tools connecting their users to the globe.  They can photograph, search, inform, communicate, entertain, and direct you to the closest Starbucks.  Husband would love to be doing all of these things but at this point he would settle for being able to hold his phone without having to cup his hands together to prevent all the little bits from falling through his fingers.

Those of you reading along at home will know that Husband recently purchased a new iPhone 4G ''Uber Phone" and that just as recently he proved the one thing an iPhone cannot do is survive skipping across a parking lot like a stone across a pond. The phone still functioned but the glass shattered, making the touch screen challenging to read.  Husband was disappointed but undaunted by this turn of events.  Any man who can reconfigure a fuel system for Beaver RX-550 aircraft can certainly replace a little broken glass.  Am I right?

The part arrived a week or so ago.  Husband spent all week reading tech support sites, prepping for surgery.  The valley has been scoured for a set of screwdrivers small enough to perform the procedure.  None could be found but that didn't worry Husband, who created one of his own, using two straight pins and a mini vice clamp.

The dogs and I moved the sofa to a safer vantage point across the street on the neighbour's yard and took up our usual station beneath it.  At one point the sounds of the helpful support video could be heard drifting from the kitchen window, "You should now see the component board. You will have to remove 3000 screws in sequence."

When several hours passed remarkably free of profanity the dogs and I began to wonder how things were going. Risking a glance over the back of the sofa, we didn't see any signs of smoke or carnage so we crept closer.  Husband was sitting at the kitchen table, calmly scooping what looked like the worlds smallest Meccano set into various bowls.

"The glass isn't the problem," he whispered hoarsely. "The LCD screen glued to the glass with industrial strength Freaky-Bond* is the problem.  I think I need to lay down."

Husband can SCUBA dive and once flew a Hercules aircraft for 5 minutes without killing anyone.  He can play Mozart and disassemble a $400 phone with a homemade screw driver and a video guide translated to English from Tibetan by a German interpreter.  The trick will be putting it back together with the new parts, including the LCD screen, now on order.

In the meantime, Husband is going to burn a PC in sacrifice to appease the gods of Microsoft who are clearly punishing him for his insolence.


* "Never comes off, no matter how hard you scream!"