Rage Against the Latrine

I quit! I don't think I need to get too philosophical about tapping out of this cleanse.  My lifestyle didn't change too much while following it.  I was already enjoying a varied diet rich in colourful vegetables, leafy greens and whole grains, and low in saturated fats, poutine and milk shakes.  Normally I would not have wrung my hands in guilt over a small plate of delicious and well prepared Indian food so that was a little unusual.  Actually the biggest difference was the feeling of urgency at every internal gurgle or burp.  In five days I spent more time worrying about the proximity and location of the nearest ladies room than anything else, including how much yeast might be in the light beer I was denying myself.  That was definitely different.   

Mind you if I had one of these babies I wouldn't have minded so much.

The rest of the ladies who are still participating seem to be bearing up under the strain of the process.  I am feeling a little wiped so I am plunging back into enjoying my days without the constant worry of accidentally hoovering up the entire snack food aisle at the grocery store.  In so doing I've flushed my system of all the stress I wasn't feeling before I started this cleanse and sent it swirling down the drain.  This may mean I don't come out Number One, but I can live with that.

Do Over

Cleanse update:  It is very easy to order off an Indian menu, with careful attention to preparation style and ingredients, and still follow this cleanse to the letter.

Easy, but not actually what happened. Instead I chose the butter chicken with fresh naan and veggie korma.  I felt guilty for every creamy, spiced, delicious, savory mouthful and seriously regretted the strawberry lassie I ordered for dessert, almost as soon as I finished slurping the last drop up the straw.  

So I am starting again at day one on day five of a twelve day cleanse.  I admit I am weak, but you would have done the same if you had been in my place.   It was the daily special. 

It All Depends

A good friend who's status as such is rapidly becoming suspect has convinced me to do a herbal cleanse with her.  The cleanse in question is actually a kit which I purchased at the local health food store.  The staff were very helpful and totally cool about my lack of leg or underarm hair. I took the kit home and read the handy info booklet aloud to Husband who honestly has had this coming ever since 'The Month Without Coffee'.  After I finished reading we sat and stared at each other.


"Soooo... no sugar."
"Right."
"And no salt."
"Check."
"Or wheat."
"Yup."
"And we can't have any dairy."
"That's right."
"Or bananas or peanut butter or shellfish or alcohol."
"Affirmative."
"And you have to take, what was it? 'Drops and supplements to make you poop'."
"Er, yes."
"For 12 days."
"Um. Yes?  Um..."


I can't eat dairy or shellfish anyway, I don't drink very much to begin with and I can live without the rest for a couple of weeks. I really don't think this is going to be that difficult, apart from the poop supplements. Since leaps and bounds have been made recently in the area of 'rustle-free' disposable adult undergarments, I don't imagine that will present too much of a challenge either. 

Welcome to Chez Solo's

On Le Menu
Sad Pasta avec Wieners Pour Un


Even though the 'nutrition' information says it serves four, we all know I'm going to eat this entire box of Kraft Dinner and then go for a guilt run.

Even my dinner mocks me