It All Depends

A good friend who's status as such is rapidly becoming suspect has convinced me to do a herbal cleanse with her.  The cleanse in question is actually a kit which I purchased at the local health food store.  The staff were very helpful and totally cool about my lack of leg or underarm hair. I took the kit home and read the handy info booklet aloud to Husband who honestly has had this coming ever since 'The Month Without Coffee'.  After I finished reading we sat and stared at each other.


"Soooo... no sugar."
"Right."
"And no salt."
"Check."
"Or wheat."
"Yup."
"And we can't have any dairy."
"That's right."
"Or bananas or peanut butter or shellfish or alcohol."
"Affirmative."
"And you have to take, what was it? 'Drops and supplements to make you poop'."
"Er, yes."
"For 12 days."
"Um. Yes?  Um..."


I can't eat dairy or shellfish anyway, I don't drink very much to begin with and I can live without the rest for a couple of weeks. I really don't think this is going to be that difficult, apart from the poop supplements. Since leaps and bounds have been made recently in the area of 'rustle-free' disposable adult undergarments, I don't imagine that will present too much of a challenge either.