The room was dim when I entered. The supplicants were seated in a semi circle around the alter. The alter was arranged with a number of vials and jars of varying sizes. A novice handed me something to drink and bade me sit with them in the circle. As I drank the bitter, warm liquid each member of the group was asked to follow the leader from the room. I was taken away to a small chamber where she proceeded to bathe my hands in fine oils, "cleansing away the deadness". Returning to the circle, "renewed", the leader then began to speak.
We were encouraged to reflect on the error of our ways, cautioned about the sorts of things which could and would happen should we choose to ignore her words and then provided with an opportunity to sample from the true path. Each jar and vial was lifted reverently from the altar and offered to us by the leader. She gently anointed our skin with the contents and as she did so she told us of the secret. Should we join with her in her quest to spread the word and share the truth we too would reap the monthly rewards as follows:
$100/month - Level: Padawan
$500/month - Jedi
$1000/month - Yoda
$15,000/month - Darth Vader
$20,000/month - The Emporer. Unless you get the car, then you have achieved Level: Kardashian
Last week, in a fit of trying to blend in with the normals, I agreed to attend a home sales party for a certain cosmetics line which I can't name here because my blog won't let me do the little superscript TM thingie after the name. Let's call it Old Lady Face Grease. I went to and OLFG party on Tuesday. It went something like this, although I seem to recall there being a fruit tray, as well.
Also, my party is December 3. See you there.
For Nicole, who is incredibly persuasive, even though I still have not forgiven her for The Volley Ball Incident. And for Adam, who nags.
