My List of Secrets. Shhh.
- I am painfully shy, but a really good actor/liar, pick whichever phrase you like, just don't confront me about it, okay?
- I am horribly lazy. There is a half a bag of Smarties under my stove. They rolled there last Christmas. I am not the least bit concerned that they may have already formed the basis for an entirely new, miniature civilization under there, as long as they don't make too much noise or upset the cat.
- I am not a cat person.
- Or a dog person.
- I am a bird person.
- I am allergic to birds.
- I wish I were a vegan. Not because I think humans are herbivores but because every vegan I know is so beautifully wan and consumptive looking. Or that could just be hunger.
- I have never read Tuesdays With Morrie or anything by Jodi Picoult, Maya Angelou or Nicholas Sparks. Not because I am not interested but because Oprah can't tell me what to do.
- I am only 5' 11 & 3/4" tall. Not 6'. I just remeasured to be sure.
- When there is no one around to see me and I am certain I will not be caught, I try to do cartwheels. I cannot.
