Malice Most Delicious

A favourite author of mine once wrote that everyone should have about a dozen or so things they are allowed to find intolerable, without explanation or apology. I think that's a wonderful idea. How cathartic.  I'm generally a pretty positive person but I think we can all admit to having a secret list like this one. For this reason and without remorse, I absolutely hate the following...

1. Tights worn as pants.
2. Anyone who will smugly say "Spoilers!" without offering up a more interesting conversation topic, when what they really mean to say is "I haven't seen the movie yet but I'm too lazy and self interested to step away, so I'm going to stay here and force you to entertain me, just not about that one specific subject."
3. Beards.
4. Parents who give their children stupid names like "Mandolynne" or "Apoplexia". 
5. Rush.
6. Political correctness.
7. People who tell me every year that they love getting a Christmas card from me, who have never sent me one in return.
8. The phrase "No offense meant".
9. Plans on a Sunday afternoon.
10. Eowyn.
11. Literally every word ever written by E.L. James, from kindergarten through to the present day.
12. Having my beer or wine explained to me.

There. That felt wonderful. Many thanks to Bill Bryson for the inspiration.