When we last left our hero, he was in the kitchen toying with a palm sander and certain death. Let's tune in and survey the damage...
(Tour guide in hushed tones):
'As we enter the dwelling, ladies and gentlemen, I will ask that you refrain from using any flash photography.'
'You can see from the trail left in the dust that they lost the drop cloths again, leading one to wonder if there is some sort of black hole in the basement.'
'If you look to the right you will see the constellation Leo picked out in Poly Filla. It extends across the living room and up the hall stairs where it seems to turn into a map of Soho.'
'The debris pattern in the kitchen indicates that sanding and baking are not compatibly concurrent activities.'
'Step carefully in the crawl space and mind your heads. As you will see there is a collection of hot water heaters down here which seem to indicate this culture worshipped giant hunks of useless metal too heavy for one arguing couple to lift and dispose of.'
'We would normally conclude the tour in the garage which holds a fascinating display of 12 derelict sewing machines however there is a giant spider covered in paint living in there and that's just icky.'
'Interesting question, ma'am. I don't believe the husband saw it coming.'
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