The Ouija Incident

Now is the part in the blog where you learn more about me as a person and wish you hadn't.  

It would seem that I have a brother.  He is two years my senior. Our childhood rivalry is the stuff of family legend but we get along quite well now that we are more mature.  Shut up.

However, when I was small he was The Enemy and I was The Pest.  From his perspective I was a holy terror.  From my perspective I can assure you that 'holy' is 100% the wrong word for the trouble I caused that boy from the moment I drew breath. 

The Enemy was older than I, was allowed to ride farther on his bike, could stay up later and was allowed to drive Grandpa's lawn tractor without supervision.  According to my parents he was also better behaved, quieter and more easily entertained than I. 

For these crimes I swore The Enemy would never sleep soundly in his bed.

I tested out my claws on that poor boy many, many times over the years, with varying degrees of success.  This was gauged by the size of melt-down into which I could goad my otherwise mild-mannered brother.  The following story measures a mere .2 on the Little Sister From Hell O-Meter but I am still proud of my efforts. 

And so our story begins...

Once upon a time, at a family party, I brought out my Ouija Board.  I convinced The Enemy it would work better if everyone was blindfolded.  Being the trusting sort, he obliged and the roller coaster left the station.

We learned the tragic story of a murdered young boy, the killer still walking free while the spirit writhed in torment over the The Enemy's bed each night, trying in vain to get his attention and bring the murderer to justice.  My brother, who believed in the holy trinity of ghosts, The Force and Captain Kirk, was appalled at the idea of such a grisly ghoul watching him sleep at night. 

The Enemy was shaking as the board spelled out detail after gruesome detail.  Demands were made to fetch pen and paper so the proper authorities could be notified. We would have kept it going all night if his scarf hadn't slipped, letting him see my hand moving the glass around the board. 

As a child The Enemy was open, honest and trusting, attributes one can only hope for in an arch nemesis. I would like to add quick on his feet to this list. Quick on his feet and surprisingly agile when enraged.