My Bitter Master

Dear Fans, I apologize for my long absence.  And thank you, thank you, for the many kind words of concern and encouragement you posted daily on this blog while I was gone.  You capricious sonsabeeches.

After a month away, during which time I forswore that precious brown elixer and took up hot yoga, lemon tea and (more on this later) home renovation, I have come to realize the following Truths:

1. Hot yoga is not for the faint of heart.  Or for anyone who has a diet high in carbohydrates.
2. Lemon tea tastes like lawnmower clippings steeped in hot lemonade and is only marginally better than green tea in that it does not also taste like bottom.
3. I am extremely open to suggestion, such as the suggestion from someone I love to give up something I love while that someone I love sneaks off to Seattle and slurps that special something on the sly.  
4. I can give up coffee any time I want to, but not if I want to function, operate a motor vehicle or stay out of prison.

I love coffee.  I adore coffee.  I love it the way I love life: Double hot with room for cream and extra sprinkles on top.