Don't Take It Personally

The following is a list of things which, despite recent events and opinions to the contrary, I am not required to give a damn about no matter how hard you glare and shake your head in disgust.    

1. Watering my dead grass
2. Leashing my dog in the off-leash dog park
3. The volume of my car radio at the stop light
4. How organic the bread is 
5. Whether the chicken liked living in a cage before it became supper
6. The speed at which I cycle past the Idiot Child
7. The 5 cent return on my Fresca can
8. The dust on the siding of my house
9. Pronouncing it 'SA-wassen'
10. The calorie content of an apple
11. The civil rights of deer
12. Neighbor Man's view of my backyard from his deck

It might be time for me to leave BC...