Decisions, Decisions

I was told once by someone that I had a choice, I could believe in God or I could believe in gorillas. This rather unusual ultimatum was prompted by the news that a small group of mountain gorillas was discovered using tools to assist in crossing a swamp and to dig for food. (Click here to burn in Hell)

Urban Gorilla

My initial response to this demand for a declaration of faith in one thing or another was to laugh whimsically, change the channel from news to The Simpsons and pour that person another cup of tea stirred with the Devil's tool (crispy bacon).  But it's always been one of the moments to which I wish I had responded differently. I think we all have these moments, these lost opportunities to communicate our thoughts and feelings clearly and without stuttering. Had I, in that moment, the time to consult a thesaurus and the gumption to confront this person who delights in creating uncomfortable situations, I like to think I might have responded thusly:

Gorillas are real, you insular little man and there is no reason to declare faith in that which is real. I do not need to believe that gorillas exist, nor do I expect, should I choose foolishly to do so, that they would care one iota whether I whisper wishes to them throughout my day, insist that they can work magics great and terrible, or wage war in their name. Please do continue to enjoy my hospitality, despite the offense my lifestyle causes to your parochial view of Humanity and the world.  More tea?

These are things that I sit and think, as I gaze out my window, binoculars and stop-watch close to hand; waiting for the next opportunity to 'casually' meet up with Neighbour Lady. 

I wonder if she watches the news?