Fortunately for me I am already a sociopath.
I also like the great outdoors so, chameleon-like, I will blend in with the closest group of hippies in my geographic location. In BC, this was actually harder than it sounds because of, well, B.C. There are just so many groups to choose from there. Did I want to be an art hippie? An environmentalist hippie? A crazy hippie? Eventually I gravitated towards surf hippies, not because I have anything against trees or pottery or wife-swapping but because I figured, since I'm never going to give up my pink Daisy razor in defiance of the preconceived notions of feminine beauty dictated by the male oppressors, I may as well get some mileage out of my smooth underarms and flounce about in the waves in a rash shirt.
Also, it was easier than being a vegetarian.
I'm finding it a little tough out here in Alberta, as well. They have a whole other word for hippie out here: target. I was starting to get a little worried that I may actually have to develop a personality of my own until, out of the corner of my eye at the 12th Annual Cold Lake Home And Leisure Show ("Mini Doughnuts on sale now!") I spotted something familiar. People wearing toques indoors. They were wearing organic bamboo cargo everything, sporting serious boots and eating trail mix. Hippies! And not just any sort of hippies but my very favourite sort, canoe hippies! They embraced me as one of their own when I demonstrated that I knew which end of the paddle goes in the water and was able to say the words 'pit toilet' without throwing up in my mouth a little bit.
Husband and I had originally planned on heading back to Tofino at the end of August, in order for me to get some salt in my blood because I miss my ocean so. Now, though, we are seriously considering an extended canoe trip into the wilds of the Canadian Shield in northern Saskatchewan. Although I do miss the ocean, I grew up on lakes and rivers and for the first time Alberta is reminding me a little bit of home. Canoe hippies are people I understand, they know the hardships of bears in the camp and pine-scented biodegradable shampoo/dish soap. They come from all walks and will not judge my need for under-eye cream even though we are on day 6 of an 8 day trip. They will not fidget with their holsters if I say the words 'recycling' or 'hold the beef'. They are my new favourite thing.
However, just for fun, and because old habits die hard, I still like to ask for the vegan option at the steak house.
