(Setting: Earlier this evening. Our heroine is freshly home from a day of work, mildly over-medicated on OTC cold and flu remedy but still in good spirits because she has two more LOTR movies to watch before Husband comes home and tells her to stop. The hounds have been released to the wilds of the back yard. With a full bag of garbage in hand, she opens the door as the bell rings...)
Ding-Dong
Good day. I am Officer Extremely Reasonable from the local RCMP detachment, may I speak with you for a moment?
Of course, please come in. What can I do for you?
Have you had any concerns with the neighbours recently?
I think they may have had some problems with where we were shoveling our snow? (Internal dialogue: Have you got an hour?)
Well, they have contacted me because they think maybe someone was looking at their dog in a funny way and it made them feel (consults notes) "really uncomfortable."
You mean the little dog that stands up on the back of the hutch they leave it chained to, in all manner of nasty weather, begging for any human contact of any kind?
Yes, that one.
I think Husband patted it over the fence once, yeah.
Ok, cool. Nice photos, by the way. You seem like a really nice lady, sorry to have disturbed you. Here's my card. Your husband a skydiver? That's awesome. Have a great day.
(Seriously. WHAT?)
