Listen to The Music

When asked I will say
I am firmly against early rising.
It shows a weakness of resolve,
And a marked disrespect
For the eight hours spent
Masterfully rumpling sheets
In my sleep.

Except when You come home.

Then, I raise early,
Make coffee, read quietly,
And listen to my house,
As it suddenly becomes Home again.
All the sleepy breaths,
And slow heartbeats,
Together.
Playing my favourite song.

Triplicate is My Favourite Form Of All

Vogon: I am sorry ma'am, but that signature is not correct. It does not appear to be yours.

Me: I just signed it in front of you. You watched me do it, that's what "witness" means. How can a signature be incorrect?

V: It doesn't match the one on your passport. Can you do it again?

M: Can I have a few practice goes?

V: We aren't allowed to permit that, no.

Me: How's this?

V: Try making the "d" a bit loopier.

Twenty agonizing minutes later...

V: If you could just look into the camera... 

M: *vacant expression*

V: Let me try one more, you look neutral but it might not be neutral enough.

Fifteen minutes after that...

V: Are you a felon?

M: No.

V: A drunk driver? A drug user? An addict of any kind?

M: No.

V: Do you wear glasses?

M: Yes. Seriously, though, that's on the same list?

V: You're a shifty bunch. 

(I'm starting to like this guy)

Thirty Minutes Later, Oh My GAAAAAAAAAWD

V: (rather smugly, I felt) Can you tell me the exact date you were issued your first driving permit in Canada?

M: (equally as smugly) December 10, 1993. It was a rainy Friday. 

V: I...you...that almost never happens.

M: Mazel tov.

After spending two days attempting to navigate the murky sea of red tape of Manitoba Public Insurance, which is the Manitoban Ministry for Driver's License, Motor Vehicle Registration, and Muggle Befuddlement, I feel like I can safely cancel that pending appointment for an exhaustively thorough medical examination.

Winnipeg Welcomes You

Right. Let's get this over with as painlessly as possible. 

I can see your house from here.
Meeker ran away, and we watched him go for three days.
Gosh, what is up with that corner, it's, like, super confusing, eh? 
That Luis Riel, he sure was a scamp, and no mistake.
Anyone want a Slurpee?
Call that a parka? You're going to need three more.
There's a Winnipeg on Mars now, and this one is still colder.
Come on down to the social at the curling rink and we'll listen to The Guess Who while we discuss the history of the Bluebombers, and Canadian Medicare.
Oot and aboot. 

I think that just about sums up everything I've heard from all the people I've met who, pointedly, are not in Winnipeg. 

From the people of Winnipeg themselves, I have repeatedly heard only the following:

Welcome. It's really nice ta meetcha.