The First Draft is The Deepest

Everyone writes two letters, right? When we're upset, that's what we do. We write two letters or emails or texts or whatever but, and this is the important part, we never send the first one. Write it, but don't send it. That's the rule. Get all the bile, all the anger, all suggestions for improbable biological acts or reflections about parentage out of your system and only then write a second letter that clearly outlines your concerns without any of the emotional detritus or comparisons to farm animals.

I found a 'first letter' to a previous employer today while scrolling through my backups. The file name was in all CAPS.: "DONT SEND THIS ONE"

This sort of thing always seems a bit petty, a bit small, but often a few truths about why you are angry can be revealed. In this case, it was because I worked for a bunch of heartless swine who likely date their own cousins. 

Dear Employer,

I wish to tender my resignation for the following reasons:

This is not a good job. It is a boring job. A dull, repetitive, endlessly boring and thankless job.

That is not your fault, but many things are.

There are many things that could make this job bearable. A living wage. A minimum standard of professionalism from the supervisory staff. Permission to have a small photo of my loved ones on my desk. Windows to the outside world. 

Even the simple dignity of a moment to recover from being called a useless waste of a human being, before hearing my name shrieked from across the room by a supervisor, that would have helped.

Not seeing my or anyone else's name in a company-wide email, labeled as a “worst offender” for too many seconds/call/week, would have certainly helped.

Offering me the opportunity to wear a ridiculous hat to work is not going to overshadow that I sat next to a sobbing colleague while she pleaded with an instructor to remove her from a training class in which she had volunteered to participate but was now finding overwhelming. It's not going to help me forget the voice of her supposed instructor, using threatening language to bully her, whispering that he'd been nice so far but he didn’t have to be nice about it for much longer if she continued to refuse to volunteer.

I am ashamed of myself for witnessing her mortification in silence and dismayed that my colleagues did exactly the same. I was not a bystander before this job. Shame on me for allowing you to silence my compassion. Shame on you for encouraging it.

You can take this boring job which was turned into an awful job by your poor oversight and lack of respect for simple human dignity, and stuff it up your ass.

Go fuck yourselves, 

Employee #79049